Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. 3. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. Thanks! The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. So happy for us! The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. What a surprise! Be proud of you." - Oprah Winfrey 3. You cannot be proud of anything you were born with, only with what you achieve. Patricia Velasquez. A Macquarie Dictionary definition of proud is: feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something conceived as highly honourable or creditable to oneself. 13. I'm so proud of you" I say things like "I love seeing you so happy with your work" and "I love seeing your words in print". Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. William, however, was too proud and too obstinate to lend himself to such a course. relationship advice marriage advice Women love advice. Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. Tell Them You Care. Based on the situation and who says this, heres a list of better responses to pick. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote They didn't have to do that. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. In what context. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. Yes, I agree that it can also be very strong coming from siblings and spouses/lovers. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. I am still so mad, but I havent said anything about it. Most of the time, to be proud of someone means you know where they've been and how far they've come pride is a word about growth. They may find it difficult to take pride in who they are and what they have achieved. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. translation - How do you say "proud of you" in Chinese? - Chinese The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. I have always struggled with this word. After all, you were the one who put the effort into writing the report you did the research, you put the paper together. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. And John is left feeling confused and despondent. It may not display this or other websites correctly. but with my Mothers words of wisdom always echoing. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. How might you feel as the worker? A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. Disclaimer: The articles, blogs, testimonials and P.E.T. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. 1. Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more. It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. This is a very interesting discussion for me. Im proud of myself, too. The Psychology of Bragging. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? You reject that person's generosity. 2. Did I do anything extraordinary? Be proud that you are here. When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. Congratulations to our dearest son. But what does proud mean? 15. I started to cry with the realization that in my 40+ years I had never heard it from anyone but him. 10. Whatever influence we had on the person, or information we gave the person, what they did with it is their accomplishment not ours. I grew up being complimented for my looks . I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . What Does the Bible Say About Being Proud Of Sin? He may not have been able to think of something better or funny so he settled for that. 7. 8. Interesting perspective. Posted articles do not constitute advice or recommendations. I use the other terms like Im so happy for you. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. 1. As parents, it's important to stay calm and resist the urge to blame our kids or anyone else, really for our emotions. She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. I'm so proud of your painting!" I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. Im so happy to have you in my life, thanks! I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. Future Planet. My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. . As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. 48 Ways to Say 'I'm So Proud of You & What You've Done' Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. Truly grateful to have such a loving family. Instead, I try implementing the approach from Parent Effectiveness Training (PET), a peaceful, gentle approach to parenting, that teaches respectful communication skills, and offers alternatives to using rewards (such as praise), or punishments (such as saying "Im disappointed"). I'll help with whatever you need to make it . She says "Good boy. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. What your walk really says about you - BBC Future Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. "I'm proud of you" is often associated with mentor-mentee relationships, something that a teacher or parent might say. Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. Don't remind them how far they've come. "I know someone in recovery". We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! Happy I did it, finally! Let them know that you are grateful for their support. This "mental timeout" gives you the space to process the insulting remark in light of what it was; someone's thoughtlessness or an attack meant to provoke a reaction. Here subject and object are the same person. Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. All rights reserved. If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. Praise such as this is a subject on its own much research and many, many books have been written on the negative aspects of praise. JavaScript is disabled. After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. Your thoughts and ideas are so creative, which has allowed you to refine your talent into something unique from others. Required fields are marked *. As soon as you break . The phrase, in my belief, implies my contribution as a parent. Never say these 5 phrases to your kids, says psychologisthere - CNBC Thats my life goal. Marilyn, My life changed the day I heard Mr. Rogers tell me he liked me just the way I was. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. . I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. Don't disguise it as concern, either. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. Granted that in many relationships, Im proud of you would strike a patronizing or otherwise false note. You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. You know that I'm bound to see you. But it had a very positive impact on this one child. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. In other words, I care so much about the other person, that their accomplishment can evoke pride in ME. Isnt she elevating herself above me to oversea my behaviors to make sure I was a good little girl? Thank you. And they both say that you're over and done with me. For doing what Im supposed to do? I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. An acquaintance commented on a recent Facebook post I made that he was proud of me and immediately I felt so mad about that but couldnt figure out why. What Does It Mean When Someone Says I'm Proud Of You? No, I am more proud of you, too. Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means they're happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. Initially this sit didnt sit well with me. Why are you taking the credit for my effort? (I'd prefer "Congratulations! True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nothing bad or unusual. Proud" as praise - an external judgement of someone elses achievements. The 9 Best Things to Say to Someone Who's Lost Weight - Life by Daily Burn When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. Proud Boys celebrate after Trump's debate callout - NBC News I teach high school. As a friend I want you to know that I am so proud of you. Its powerful. To me, if someone I respect said they were proud of me, would mean much more and have a much better and more positive effect on me than if they said Im really happy for you because the feeling of someone being proud for me includes me, my efforts and achievements, and unites me with that person who said it at the moment of saying it. Setting goals you can achieve, also called "realist goals," reduces the chance of frustration or doubting yourself or your abilities. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. 1. I guess its an odd word and I stay away from it because I know how sensitive I am to it. Better Responses 2023. but not the p-word. 6. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. Focus on this thing or person for a few minutes to get yourself into a more positive mindset. Approval is different to acceptance. I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. What is the appropriate response when someone says they're proud of you Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. Last Updated on February 28, 2023 by Ketan. "I wish I had met you. Here are 5 other ways to say "I'm proud of you" to older children: 06 "It's been an honor to watch you grow up." This can be used for both a teen and an adult. But only emotionally intelligent people understand why. She reciprocated. It's a pretty good deal. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). Congratulations on your graduation, dear son. Michelle Obama Finally Proud of USA - Outside the Beltway Thank You. Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. However, the other expression Im really happy for you is so overused that it immediately rings the bell of insincerity. So, if youve achieved something in your educational or professional field, and someone informs you theyre proud of you, it means you did a great job there. 50 Things You Can Say to Make Your Child Feel Great So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. I think you deserve the credit for this all. The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Someone saying that they're proud of you implies that, not only are they impressed by what you do and who you are, they also want others to know it. Make sure to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Yea, Thank you is not the only response. So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. Why is this such a contentious phrase? Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? 3. Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry. I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, However what messages might our children actually hear? 14. It is a feeling of relief and it was all worth while you bringing them up properly. but you do play a role in their success! "Proud" and "Humbled": I do not think it means what you think it means "Im proud of you!" You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up - Bustle 5. 20 of the Best Encouraging Words that Hold any Caregivers Up 06 "Tim, I keep wondering what Dad would say if he were alive right now. Fascinating post in two regards. I would almost join FB in order to make the comment, Why are you proud and impressed? Who is saying this to whom? (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). I may never know but you can simply ask him if you question the genuineness in his response. 3. Without you, I couldnt do it. As your friend I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. This will help to create a bond between the two of you and will strengthen your relationship. A 2017 analysis of 2012 national data from the US, showed that parent behaviour could have a protective role in a their child's mental health. But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. I feel virtually murderous towards them. People Who Say These 5 Words Have Very Low Emotional Intelligence | Inc.com I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. They may become adults who are vulnerable, who do not have a strong sense of self-worth. Its obviously a powerful word. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" Pause before responding. Youre the most amazing parents and thank you for believing in me. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. This post was actually very helpful for me! You: "I have so much to do and not sure how I am going to get it all done.". said Christopher Robin. John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. 2. I don't think you . 7. He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. Children whose parents constantly say "I'm proud of you" may grow to be adults who rely on other people's opinion of them for validation. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. 2. And you get to benefit from them regardless of the outcome of your relationship. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. It's a way of congratulating someone for having accomplished something impressive. You would have to know the whole story. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I'm committed to working on our relationship so we both feel . Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. It remains condescending and arrogant. A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S Lewis 2. Ah. Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. That way, all they have to do is show up. "), Friend: "I'm proud of you for being brave and standing up to your boss", As the friend who has found that courage, is this statement something you would appreciate? Sajeev Rajan I dont think that without your support I can make it. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude has many benefits. The insiders felt they were all superior to newcomers, no matter what the newcomers backgrounds were. How do you feel about, "I'm proud of you"? - reddit The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. Oh.. very good. I have a little brother who is rather insecure and jealous of me, a very controlling person that thinks having a relationship with each other means that I put up with him trying to make me feel less than in the power scheme, which is precisely why I totally avoid him My YOUNGER brother about my creative talents has to say..I am extremely proud of you..for a bit, this has thrown me off, and I was not able to quite articulate how this really got under my skin, why I did a search on the phrase and have been thinking about itand yeah, it does seem a major insult when an emotionally uncool person whose relationship with you should be on equal terms has to act like a parent, always making a show of being the bigger man saying boy, I am so proud of you. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? . My experiences with people saying they were proud of me (or at least making me aware in other ways that they were proud of me) first came from my own parents, mostly my dad. Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. Do you think if they didn't mean it they would say it? Use words that will strengthen your relationship. To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. Great to hear this. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. When somebody says that you are wrong: "You are entitled to your incorrect opinion." To each his own. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). Bless me that I keep doing bigger things than this. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. But the Bible warns us against a self-centered, egotistical pride that says, "Look at me; look at . Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. I am here for the same reason. The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. I was actually kicked out of my house at 16 by her and her new husband and had financial trouble during my years in school that she had contributed to, how in the hell can she be proud of me when all she did was hinder me? Family Tree. Thats why its important to take their words seriously and to respond in a meaningful way. Dear! A friend persevered in getting her masters degree after running into academic trouble as an undergrad. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. And Ill encourage them to be proud. Even if the other person's words and/or actions seem reprehensible, try to be as . And as it was your friends achievement, oughtnt she be the one who feels proud? She and I are both married. I cannot tell you how happy I am, for her, to witness her achievement and how much I admire her tenacity in overcoming all she has. A strong argument is a solid one. So you better know in which tone theyre saying so. PJ. Overall, seeing your parents, family and loved ones are proud of you, is a great compliment. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. Ji on Twitter: "If u ate only when someone says they're proud of u What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. Best of BBC Future. . I believe you. 26 Reasons to Be Proud of Yourself | Psychology Today So, the next time someone says Im proud of you, remember to take the time to think about how you want to respond. 2. Its a way of saying I see the hard work youve put in and I appreciate it. How often do we utter this common parenting phrase, in moments of pleasure at our childs latest achievement? Keep believing in me, I will make you proud more and more. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. 1. 8. Your partner is really happy about the achievement that you have made in your life or career. How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. 1. But is that really very useful? Thats what I think. She states I always tell someone I am proud of them. Thats the response I was expecting from you. I still think she was doing this at the time. When we avoid the phrase Im proud of you, we allow our children to be their own person, to grow to their own potential - in a relationship of mutual respect. But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. Take the compliment, give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her "I'm proud of myself as well" and "Thank you". 35 Proud Quotes On Success | AwakenTheGreatnessWithin 11. When someone knows that you are not only proud, but you are inspired and amazed, it will be an even better compliment.